Just when we thought we were free of “American Horror Story,” which has been virtually impossible to watch for almost a decade, the mega-producer lured us back into his bloody, clever networks with season 12 of the FXs anthology series “Delicate,” starring none other than Kim Kardashian.
The actress and host of the reality show “Paw: Patrol” plays an important role in the latest issue (airs on Wednesdays at 10 o’clock Eastern time and is broadcast on Hulu), in the center of which is a young woman (Emma Roberts), who may be pregnant with the spawn of Satan. But even Kardashian’s inspired casting can’t save this terrible new season, which comes out stillborn with a tortured riff on “Rosemary’s Baby.”
Shortly after the season premiere, Hollywood starlet Anna Victoria Olcott (Roberts) goes for another infertility consultation as she and her husband (Matt Chuchry) struggle to start a family. But, of course, from the very beginning everything seems dangerous: Anna wakes up with acute pain after egg extraction. (Nothing worth waiting for is ever easy, the unflappable nurse assures her.) There’s also a creepy doctor, some questionable prescriptions, and a woman with a bad feeling who may or may not be Anna’s stalker.
In other words, nothing that hasn’t already been done in dozens of other horror films (or, for that matter, in the Twilight Saga: Dawn – Part 1, which irrevocably traumatized us with its rude birth scene). It doesn’t help that Roberts and Chuchri light all the sparks of the campfire during the monsoon season, and their performances on the same note fade even more due to the banal writing of texts.
Those few times when a pulse appears in the premiere episode, when Kardashian appears on the screen. The fashion designer of corrective clothing has long been called insipid and superficial by critics. But here she deftly gets used to the image of a girl from the Valley, playing a worried publicist Anna Siobhan. She dryly eviscerates everyone in a row, from Hilary Swank to the directors of Everything and Everywhere, and makes a “Waldorf” out of a verbal salad. (You have a special tendency to turn dreams into nightmares, says Siobhan in her dual role as Anna’s confidante and walking exhibit.)
The relentless wisecracks continue to arrive when Anna receives a first-class late-night order for “Watch What Happens Live” with Andy Cohen, and Siobhan is forced to console her rapidly losing her composure client. (Oh, honey, don’t cry. Your face can’t get swollen because of Andy.)
Of course, there are some silly jokes about Tom Sandoval and other brave men. And yes, Kardashian’s acting abilities may be more liked by people than worthy of an Emmy Award. But, like the graduates of “American Horror Story” Jessica Lang and Lady Gaga before her, she is still the only one who has realized the high potential of the season.